Traits of a modern day Alpha Female

Okay my darlings
my clothes just dropped to the floor
so you know things are about to heat up!

Time for some straight talk,
woman to woman.

Every day I hear women saying they desire to be an alpha female,
they might even think they’re alpha,
yet when we get to the line
they’re not willing to leap the fuck over.

It’s time to decide,
will you BE an alpha female,
or will you stay in the safety of victimhood?

And yes, that’s how I see the alternative.

Truth is you either take FULL responsibility for your life,
or you’re the bitch of circumstances and other people.
You either BELIEVE the Universe has your back,
or you live in fear.
You either DECIDE you’re the master of your ship,
or you scrub the decks.

There’s no in-between.

I look at my alpha sisters and my heart swells with pride
for belonging to this pack takes no small measure of courage
which is why we’re fierce as fuck, often accused of being hard and insensitive.

Others are drawn to our magnetic energy
yet when they get IN the fire where our core is forged,
they snarl,
and run away
telling all and sundry that we don’t play nice.

They’re right – alpha females DON’T play nice.
We play hard,
we play fast,
we play wild and we play free.

There’s no time to molly-coddle or listen to the excuses society conveniently gives those who have no intention of being their best selves.

Here are the traits I look for to identify TRUE Alpha Females – in no particular order.

  1. Alpha Females Operate From Heart
    Born into a society driven / enslaved through their minds, we are the ones who outworked everyone and still found it not enough for us to FEEL enough.
    We agreed to come and experience pain, exhaustion, abandonment, to the point where choices had to be made – die or move INTO the emotional pit of darkness.
    We RAN into our tears and as we broke through the hard shell we finally reclaimed ourselves and the power which is available in our hearts.
    THIS is the space from which we receive our guidance, the home of Soul.
    Alpha Females operate in the energy of love.
  2. Alpha Females Take Full Responsibility For Their Lives
    You can choose to continue believing in karma, in circumstances, in gender specific roles, waiting to be saved by god only knows who or what,
    you can take your sweet self to the mirror and understand that the ONLY person responsible for your life, is the one looking back at you.
    YOU get to take responsibility for the thoughts you think.
    YOU get to take responsibility for your beliefs.
    YOU get to take responsibiliy for your actions.
    YOU get to take responsibility for every single creation in your life.
    Just to be clear – I’m talking 100%
    No bitching, no complaining, no ‘oh woe is me’ ballsack hogwash.
    You woman the fuck up and free yourself from all the excuses.
  3. Alpha Females DO The Work
    I have no interest in women telling me what they’re going to do one day,
    once they have the money,
    once they have the time,
    once things have calmed down,
    once upon a time in a fantasy world far far away.
    Alpha Females tend to be the quiet ones as they’re using their energy to actually DO the motherfucking work it takes to be successful in THIS world.
    And I’m not referring to the systems and colour by number crap either.
    I’m talking about the REAL work, and if you don’t know what I’m referring to, you best start taking some action to find out.
  4. Alpha Females Make Courage Decisions
    Anyone can make the decision when the money is in the bank. Anyone can make the decision when the path is laid out.
    Anyone can make the decision once they’ve discussed it with every Tom, Dick and Sarafina.
    Courageous decisions occur in the presence of uncertainty and THESE are the decisions that change WHO YOU ARE at a core level.
  5. Alpha Females Are Pro Woman And Pro Man
    ENOUGH of the man bashing FFS!
    Let’s spell this out:
    Alpha Females don’t have time to waste hating and blaming others, as their heads are in their own game.
    They are focused.
    They are in the zone.
    When you have time to spew poison on others, you’re NOT in your lane.
    You’re NOT alpha.
  6. Alpha Females Invest In Their Personal Growth
    I know I’m not supposed to say this, but the reason I’ve always worked with more men than women, is men get on a consultation call, they are committed to their growth, and they decide there and then if we’re a good fit for partnership or not.
    Tons of women get on the call wanting help and then when it’s time to make the decision, they feel scared to make this investment in themselves so choose to go talk to their husband of which 99% come back saying hubby doesn’t think they have the money, that they’ve wasted too much money before, blah blah blah.
    Alpha Females make the investment because they take themselves serious. They understand that personal growth is the number one priority for success. They budget for personal growth along with food. They don’t expect hand-outs. They don’t gorge on all the free stuff. They know where they are, where they desire to be, and partner with those who will empower them to get there faster.
  7. Alpha Females Commit
    Look hun, the reason most women are not prepared to make the courageous decisions, is they don’t trust themselves. They don’t believe themselves when they say they’re going to do something or receive a specific outcome.
    They give up before the race is done.
    They back down from the resistance instead of feeling it and choosing to show up anyway.
    They allow their excuses to be bigger than their commitment to thrive.
    Alpha Females say what they mean, mean what they say and do what they say.
    the end.
  8. Alpha Females Live In The Now
    “Next time” does not exist in our lives.
    It’s FUCK YES right now or it’s FUCK NO.
    This horrendous habit of women saying ‘next time’ is nothing more than people pleasing bullshit programming and the sooner women recognise this,
    the sooner they can start saying NO when they don’t want something,
    the sooner their lives will transform.
    Opportunities appear when you are READY. Not a moment before. Most opportunities take a stepping UP and you have free will Sunshine, you get to step up or stay down.
    It’s got NOTHING to do with your current circumstances.
    It has everything to do with your current CHOICES.
  9. Alpha Females Respect
    Alpha Females have enormous respect for themselves, their craft, their time, and in turn, they have enormous respect for others, their craft and their time.
    I would NEVER even THINK of asking someone I admire to give me their stuff for free. I would NEVER even THINK of asking someone I admire to coach me for free. I just wouldn’t even think…
    When they offer and I know I’m gifting them my talent in return, that my work inspires their next level, I will allow myself to receive in deep love and appreciation. Yet there’s always an energy exchange.
    I know it takes HUGE commitment in time, money, sacrifice of short-term gratification for long-term impact and I choose to show my apprecation for their dedication by paying when I desire coaching or mentoring or anything professional.
    I respect their time. I respect their businesses. I respect them.
  10. Alpha Females Create
    Alpha Females have something to say, a story to tell, wisdom to share.
    We don’t have to regurgitate others words to get attention.
    We don’t have to break down the work of others to put the spotlight on ourselves.
    We came here to create, so we keep our energy clean, we are faithful to our muse, and we create original content for humanity regardless whether or not it’s ‘popular’.
    We opt for powerful and impactful.

So now you know.
My question is –
are YOU an alpha female?

Death might be inevitable,
but thrive is always the choice of the alpha.

Live with honour,


Anel is the Instigator of a Thrive Evolution for Alpha Females.

Her work is aimed at empowering women to trust themselves and their intuition, reclaiming their authentic voices, and creating a life they’re madly in love with.

Through enhanced self-love, self-worth and self-confidence they know the satisfaction and pride of a woman who lives unapologetically aligned with her purpose.

Those ready to step up and receive support on their journey are invited to connect through a potential partnership consultation.

✔︎ For more pockets for introspection follow her here ☛ Anel Bester

✔︎ To learn more about her thrive evolution visit here ☛

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