Triggered as fuck around triggers.

Sometimes as I sit down to write for you, I look at my reflection in the window and think “Seriously Anel, why couldn’t you have picked an easier path?”

It would appear in some ironic twist of fortune I didn’t come to this life to teach from a place of logic and hum-drum information.

That would have been way too easy.

I came to share wisdom gained through constant and continuous growth and that means I get to walk my talk.

Shit a diddle doo.

Which is exactly where I found myself at 5 am as I sat down with my journal and pen excited to see what was being revealed to me from the dark realms of my subconscious mind today.

I should have known it would be around triggers as this was the assignment I was guided to give as pre-course work in Courage, Clarity and Confidence.

The courageous women in the group did the work, the real work, the uncomfortable work, which means my soul demanded the same of me.

As I started writing about my week ahead I found a constriction around my throat – uncomfortable enough that my breathing felt strained.

What was this about?

Aaah yes.  I’m going back to an environment where I’ve been invited to coach – but not speak my truth.  No spirituality.  No personal beliefs.  Just come in and fix the guys so they will conform to our expectations.

My ego is screaming!

How dare they tell me not to speak my truth?

How dare they say that I have to do my work without my voice?

How dare they?

I simply don’t understand why on earth I would even find myself in this position when in fact I had made it very clear to the Universe that I’m coming out of the spiritual closet and speaking my truth regardless of what the haters have to say.

Did someone not get the memo??

On the one hand the Big U has been surrounding me with my soul tribe.  Amazing leaders, achievers, change bringers and creatives who have a deep desire to live purpose-aligned lives which is going to (r)evolutionize the way in which people choose to live.

Fully empowered.

Fully owning their choices.

Fully thriving.

The danger in only working with my ‘ideal clients’ is that it’s really easy for me to get disconnected to the ‘norm’ which has the masses purely existing thinking they don’t have a choice.  Still thinking that conformity equals safety.  Still committing emotional and physical suicide because they’re hurting so much that they’ve suppressed their feelings thus losing an integral part of their humanity.

If I stop putting myself in those environments and physically connecting with the pain which these people are not prepared to process, I will forget why I started doing this work in the first place, stop feeling the excruciating pain all the time, stop fighting.

Not an option.

I didn’t come here to turn my back on my life purpose.

I didn’t come here to live in a bubble – okay that doesn’t mean I’m going to get off my fucking unicorn either.

What it does mean is that I’m going to keep asking to be triggered so I can do the work on myself thereby being of even better service to my soul tribe.

That means that I have to sharpen my gifts.

Such as being an empath.

Being an empath is not for sissies.

Being an empath means you have to be willing to open yourself up to connecting with others, reaching into their hearts and ‘feeling’ them.  The emotions that they have locked up because they simply don’t have the strength or courage to work through them.  And to then send them your love so the healing can start without them ever even knowing.

Which is exactly why the Universe is putting my ass in an environment where I’m going to have to use way more than my voice to bring about change.  I’m going to have to step up my game.  Next level Baby.  Always next level.

None of this learning or sharing would have been possible if I wasn’t open to being triggered.  If I wasn’t open to doing the work and investigating what’s really going on and what the gift is in all of this.

I could have chosen to just stay in indignant ego, stomped in, coach from a space of emptiness and obstinance, and stomped out.

I’m not.

I’m brining my A game.

Which is my message for you today.

YOU are powerful beyond your wildest imagination!

Which means jack shit unless you actually start believing it.

If you don’t start feeling safe within yourself and believe that you will never receive more than you can handle.

Unless you truly believe that everything happens FOR you and so do the work to find the treasure in the sand.

Triggers are one of those amazingly powerful tools we’ve received in this life to bring us back to truth.  How sad then that we are not taught how to embrace our triggers, how to investigate our triggers, how to heal our triggers.

This is what I know for sure – my soul tribe are here to bring change.  They’re here to heal the world.

BUT my soul tribe are also the courageous few prepared to do the work themselves!

Which is why my tribe is small but oh man they’re powerful!

We stand together because we don’t believe in competition – we don’t have to because we are not consumers, we’re creators.

We stand proud because we own our shit and then some.

We are strong because we seek out our triggers, we feel into our deepest emotions.

We know that it’s not about us but the work we’re here to do.

If you’re still reading you know this to be true.

Oh maybe you haven’t owned it yet.

You will.

You might be triggered as fuck by what I’m saying to you now and you might even leave my space.

That’s okay.

For when you’re ready, I’ll still be here.

Doing the work.

Just remember that time is a trickster – you might think you have all the time in the world, and maybe you do.  But every decision you make in every second impacts the ultimate outcome of your life.

You might think you’ll start Monday, or next week, or next month, or next year.  But every second until then is affecting the projection of your future.

Think about it.

It’s all about conscious choice.

Always is.

Only choice you don’t have is death.  That one is inevitable.

Thriving however, that’s a choice.

With love always,


PS:  Courage Clarity and Confidence is off to a powerful start.  The pre-course work has created new awarenesses and women are stepping into their power owning their shit in a transformational way.  Today we talked about triggers, ultimate desires and a little bit of magic.  We’re connecting to our breath this week and brining clarity to darkened thoughts.  This is hard work.  Deep work.  Courageous work.  The work that nobody wants to talk about.  The work that few will ever do in this lifetime.  The work that changes lives!  Not just yours, but everyone you will ever come into contact with after doing it.  I’m keeping the doors open this week for those who have been a little fearful of the voice of desire from within.  If you’re meant to be stepping into a new level of living, this is your time.  We’re waiting for you.