When you’re done pretending to be vanilla.

Oh how easily we fall into the trap.

Giving in to the noise that seems so prevalent in todays ‘social’ society.

The comparison.

The jealousy.

Seeing all the ‘overnight’ success stories and wondering what the hell you’re doing wrong.

The feeling of being a total fucking failure.

All the time.

So we give up on our authentic selves.  We overthrow the voices inside our hearts with the cacophony inside our heads.

We dilute our essence and we become

VANILLA

Fuck, I hate vanilla.

I’m sorry, but I do.

I tried being vanilla for a very long time.

I tried liking vanilla for a very long time.

I tried bullshitting myself and everyone else by focussing on all the good of vanilla.

But you know what Darling,

I’m not fucking vanilla!

And I will never be vanilla again.

Please stop asking me to just taste vanilla one more time in case I change my mind.

I won’t.

Oh I get it.

I understand why society wants as many of us to be vanilla as possible.  Because you can add a little bit of strawberry, a little bit of chocolate, a little bit of kiwi, creating the illusion that we have flavour.  But we miss the richness of the purity of the undiluted.

So we’re all a little different.

Yet we miss the burst of our uniqueness.

The sad part for me is that I notice more and more loving people share their insights, wisdom and systems with people with the intention of enriching lives.  Instead of others opening themselves up to the experience of that which is being shared, taking bits and pieces from here, there and everywhere else, going within to remember their truth, their talent, their authentic power and then creating their own work of art, they simply become carbon copies.

From the outside they look like hazelnut.

Except they are not the original.

When you take a bite into the core they are

Vanilla.

Ugh.

Okay Okay I’m guilty as well.

Hey, I’m no different from you.

Just like you I’m also on this journey of self discovery.

I’ve screwed up again and again and again and again!  for me to get to this point where I’m finally falling in love with me, myself and I.  To get to the point where I’m curious all the time, exploring the findings of others to tickle the awakening of my own remembrance.

It’s actually seriously fun.

But then again I’m willing to fail.

Are you?

I know that I have to keep failing, to keep tasting shit that looks like chocolate, to make powerful distinctions for myself.

I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I have a coach (she’s definitely not vanilla) who says that if you’re not willing to fail for your art, for the rest of your life, go find something else to do.  If you want a guarantee of success in order for you to create your art another day, then hang up your brushes.

I agree.

If you’re not willing to bleed for your art for the rest of your life without earning a single dime, then go do something else.  Anything else.  If money is the driving force then go find an easier way to make money.

Go be vanilla.

For those of us who strive to bring our undiluted selves to the world, it can never be about the money.

It can never be about the recognition.

It can never be about the noddy badges.

For what drives us is passion.

The burning desire to share that which is inside of us with the world.  To just put it out there for all to see, for all to criticise, for all to pull apart.

For the chance

The smallest of chances

That maybe

Just maybe

Someone pauses, reads our words, listen to our voices, takes in our paintings,

and smiles.

We create for the one in eight billion who needed what we have to share in that moment and for them to wake the fuck up from the swirl of vanilla and remember their cherry.

That’s what drives me.

Relentlessly.

Weeks go by without a single response.

But the message refuses to be silenced.

She screams out of my fingers.

I have no choice.

For the memory of existence is burned into my frontal cortex for the rest of my life.

It burns me up inside when I look around and see so many people who are addicted to the trance not realising the torture of their creative soul within.

So I get up

I show up

Every fucking day

Even when I get criticised

Even when some stranger publicly posts that my voice irritates her – and I wasn’t even signing at the time

I do it because my soul refuses to let me sleep, refuses to let me give up, refuses to let me become vanilla again.

And then

Every so often

I receive a message that has tears streaming down my cheeks

A couple of line of deep gratitude that my words saved a soul that was rock bottom

and that’s all I need to continue my work.

Not that I’m saying you should be broke.

God knows I’ve had that experience as well – having a complete stranger standing at my door to take away furniture to pay my bills.

Not planning on having that repeated.

Success happens to look way better on me.

My soul agrees.

So as I give I receive.

Deep gratitude to the Universe.

Here is what I want you to know today Darling:

You are unique.  It is that uniqueness that those you are here to serve is salivating for.

They don’t want your vanilla downed version.

They’re bloated from vanilla.

They want you.

Warts and all.

Everyone is sick and tired of photoshopped perfection.

We want human!

Pure, un-fucked with beauty.

They want YOUR words – the way YOU say them.

They want YOUR art – the way YOU create it.

Your people wants YOU!

For the love of all that is chocolate, hazelnut, strawberry, kiwi, blueberry purists STOP PRETENDING TO BE VANILLA!

Fucking nobody can put Baby in the corner.

For death is inevitable.

Thriving is choice – and she doesn’t taste like vanilla.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  today we kick off live with FLOW.  This program is designed to heal, to open, to discover, to hear the voice in your heart, the voice of your soul, and to build your business from this place of the authentic you.  I share all I’ve learned in the art of mind-set, business building, affirmations, prayer, meditation, yoga and more to support you in bringing your essence to humanity.  This course is not for you if you’re seeking a cookie cutter approach to life.  It’s not for you if you want to be a diluted version of anything.  It’s going to challenge you.  It’s going to have you show up for yourself in a way that you’ve not done before.  It’s gonna be on helluva ride Darling.  Get started here.