And for most,
it feels like a far-off dream,
Trapped in the illusion of commercialised needs and old ideas of what will bring fulfilment,
they’ve created a bog filled with quick-sand,
convincing themselves it’s worth trading their thrive for credit cards.
Numbing the pain of being gagged and bound through distraction,
poisoning their minds and bodies,
lying to themselves and everyone else,
that mere existence is all they desire.
For some, that white-picket fence still represents the dream life.
I’m happy for them.
I know a few, and they are truly lit up, living in full alignment!
wild, independent, fierce, passionate men and women who desire adventure, impact and orgasms,
it’s nothing more than a prison where your passion for life is squashed in the cog of the machine of conformity.
For a large part of my life, I thought that there was something seriously wrong with me.
That I was the most ungrateful bitch alive,
who deserved nothing more than what I got.
I grew up in the perfectly contained Afrikaans family.
Deranged father for whom brute force was a basic requirement for children to learn respect.
Break their wills and they will become contributing members of the work-force thereby fulfilling his manly role.
Oppressed mother who believed that staying in an abusive marriage was the responsible thing to do,
as the bully making life hell behind closed doors,
would surely protect her brood from the monsters outside.
A brother in pain who wouldn’t dare to stand up to his elders,
which meant, the only way to release the pressure valve,
was to rain his fury down on me.
I was taught that as a woman you should keep your mouth shut.
Nobody cares what you think and you shouldn’t presume to give input in the affairs of men.
You shouldn’t want for beauty.
That your hard-earned money belongs to the head of the house.
If you dared to buy a new pair of shoes,
hide them in the back of the cupboard,
then place them between the others,
subconsciously getting him used to seeing them,
before wearing them.
Otherwise there would be a reckoning,
I learned that girls are punching bags for hurt, confused and frustrated men.
That we should simply allow them to unwind by spewing their hurtful, poisonous, insults over us.
Sobbing on the floor would soften their hearts for a moment.
It could just as easily swing the other way,
infuriating them even more,
as they see the weakness of themselves reflected in our tears.
I learned that when a man decided to take pleasure in my body,
regardless of my age,
regardless of my wishes,
I deserved to be violated.
That I’m worthless as an independent being, simply a toy for others.
I learned that the mental madness caused by our fucked up social system resulting in abuse, humiliation and violence,
is a safe-house for the perpetrator,
and a cloak of shame for the receivers.
That society protects those who do not take responsibility for themselves,
by calling it a disease,
saying they are as much victims as everyone else.
and they should live in anonymity for the rest of their lives.
Lessons I continued to learn well into my adult life.
Like a dutiful daughter I honoured my forefathers and mothers,
recreating the patterns of old,
and handing them to the next generation tied up with a pretty bow.
I wouldn’t trade a single day of my life.
I have nothing but love and appreciation for every single person who walked a minute with me.
It was through every relationship,
every single word,
every single rape,
every single beating,
that I learned it’s all
I am so appreciative of our social systems of lies, fear and illusions of safety.
For those of us who came here to question,
who came here to break the cycles,
who came here to liberate ourselves,
it is just the perfect training ground!
Looking back on my life,
I should be broken.
And for a while there,
things were pretty fucking shaky!
I lived drowning in depression,
suffocating from the restriction of my throat as I had gave away my voice,
I lost my will to live,
I reached a point where getting up off that cold floor seemed hopeless,
why even bother,
when I would simply be there again tomorrow?
They finally broke me,
I COULD FIND MY WILL TO FIGHT!
They broke me,
I COULD LIBERATE MY ARSE FROM THE ILLUSION!
They broke me,
I COULD FUCKING RISE AS MY TRUE SELF!
And trust me,
I’m not everyone’s shot of espresso!
For my freedom
I had to value myself above the family.
For my freedom
I had to value my purpose above my socially dictated roles.
For my freedom
I had to value my love for adventure, growth, expansion, contribution above the ‘protection’ of men.
For my freedom
I had to invest in myself instead of spending money on shit I didn’t need.
for my freedom,
I had to choose to be the woman who accepts, appreciates, loves and respects herself.
I have no interest in blaming anyone for anything.
I have no interest in shaming anyone, including myself for anything.
I take full responsibility for the fact that I’m a magnet for all that I experience in my life.
And I do so joyfully,
even the painful shit,
as all is perfect in my evolution!
I value freedom above all.
is only possible,
I’ve also come to understand that not everyone desires freedom.
Even when they say they do.
They still value ‘safety’ and ‘belonging’ and ‘responsibility’ and ‘trappings’ more.
They lack true belief in themselves.
Choosing instead to listen to the voice of doubt.
Thinking that ONE day they’ll be ready for liberation.
But not yet.
Still not understanding that choice ONLY ever happens in the NOW.
This very second.
You get to DECIDE.
If you’re not willing to CHOOSE NOW,
you’ll not choose it later on.
You’ll keep putting conditions between yourself and your freedom.
You’ll keep putting conditions between yourself and your best life.
You’ll keep telling yourself the same bullshit tomorrow,
Oh I know you think you won’t.
My question to you today is this:
What do you value more than freedom?
For in the absence of freedom,
you’re nothing more than a prisoner of fear.
How much longer Darling?
How much longer?
Only death is inevitable.
Thriving is always the choice of the brave.
Live with honour.
PS: This is the final week of enrolment for the Alpha Coach Apprenticeship.
One year intensive certification program for revolutionary coaches ready to BE the change they seek in the world, calling in their true following, building an empire of impact and becoming LEGENDARY.
The Apprenticeship is for those BORN to be a radiant lighthouse for others.
The one who’s been feeling for some time now that this is YOUR time,
Except looking around the steps they preach seem incredibly boring and you simply can’t be fucked.
That’s because coaching is not about learning some systems like a monkey and then regurgitating ‘the one and only way’ like a brainless parrot.
It’s about RADICAL TRANSFORMATION,
From within YOU.
It’s about YOU BEING a coach.
By doing the work every day,
Because not doing it would be like not showering or brushing your teeth for a year.
It’s about an unwavering BELIEF in the magnificence within people,
And ONLY speaking to that part of them until they can connect and live from this space.