Okay so maybe I just love stirring shit.
Maybe I enjoy freaking out people by taking everything the ‘experts’ say and turning it upside down.
My intention is not to say I’m right and they’re wrong,
that would be a real dick move of me.
Instead, my intention is to share the insanity raging inside of my head,
so that you may think for yourself.
I simply arrived at a place in my life where all that I’d previously learned,
including the numerous psychology labels during my studies,
Which was a wonderful opportunity to seek different answers.
I don’t believe we came to this life experience to suffer and be miserable.
Okay, taking a step back,
I won’t speak for you,
I sure as fuck didn’t come to the life experience to suffer and be miserable.
For one thing,
I LOVE the way it feels when I choose happy!
I love the way energy immediately courses through my body the moment I decide to feel good.
Doesn’t mean I never feel the opposite.
It simply means I choose to revert back to thrive faster than most.
What I found was that, contrary to what I was told;
that emotions were to be feared,
that they were to be denied,
suppressed by drugs that would override clear thinking,
because they made me act in inappropriate ways,
anger leading to explosive power and expression,
passion leading to gasps,
sorrow leading to a sobbing mess on the floor,
whatever the extreme,
it wasn’t considered lady-like or proper;
emotions are messages, indicators of where I am on or off my chosen path.
Instead of moving away from them,
I’m called to turn towards them with an attitude of gratitude and appreciation.
I can feel immense appreciation for sorrow,
and when I turn to them,
when I acknowledge them,
they open up and reveal a gift of some form.
Yes, at times this is deeply uncomfortable and yes,
I’ve learned to do this in private.
You think my ramblings sound crazy,
wait till you see me rage against the storm for no apparent reason.
As I connect with them,
knowing that my emotions will NOT kill me,
I ask for the message.
What is it that I’m not seeing?
Where am I not speaking my truth?
Where have I allowed my boundaries to crumble?
Where am I not allowing myself to receive my true desires?
What old belief am I ready to release as I have evolved beyond it?
Who is no longer an energetic fit for me?
What’s really interesting is the fact that majority of the time when my emotions go banshee on my arse,
it’s because in some way,
I’m not speaking my truth.
I’m still softening my words so as not to offend others.
Not wanting to hurt their feelings.
Compromising because what I want is so different from others,
and I was raised to compromise.
Except I keep coming back to the facts that:
1 – I am not responsible for how others feels
2 – No matter WHAT I do, they’re going to choose how they feel about it.
This whole idea that we shouldn’t upset others is such a load of bull!
I think MORE people should start getting upset.
Maybe then they’ll actually start paying attention to what’s going on in their lives.
Maybe then they’ll take the time to figure out who they truly desire to be,
what they choose to stand for,
what they desire to create and be remembered for.
Complacency is creating a culture of docile slaves
who’ve stopped thinking for themselves,
disconnected from themselves.
Because god forbid they should FEEL and completely lose their shit in the middle of the road
as they look up
realising they’ve pissed away years in front of a meaningless screen
delusional in thinking Lala-land is making them happy
whilst their bodies
have gone to hell.
Why would we not celebrate that excruciatingly painful awakening?
It’s been my experience that nobody who truly wakes up, do so in a field of flowers.
Instead, I witness people hitting rock-bottom so hard they’re stunned,
I witness people crawling around wailing in agony because all they’ve denied for decades flood through them,
I see people stuck in fear unable to take a step or have a conversation.
And I celebrate every one of those moments.
For they are the seeds of new possible choices.
Every person who reaches this point can choose to feel the pain, the fear, the desperation, the isolation, the depression, the anxiety,
and they can go to the pharmacy,
put a convenient label on it,
walking out with a bottle of pills that will cut them off from the emotion,
back to blissful dead existence,
they can move THROUGH the emotion.
They can drop into appreciation,
they can ask for the message,
they can see that which they have not seen before,
and they can make a different choice,
thereby changing their lives forever.
I say to hell with the masks, the dumbed-down words such as feeling fine, or feeling okay, or feeling happy.
Bring back raw!
Extend your vocabulary bringing richness into your expression of emotion.
Go over the top.
Fuck the rules of what is and is not appropriate.
Choose the most energised word you can find to describe your feeling thereby increasing them exponentially!
Why wouldn’t you?
It’s all a choice.
Yet, few choose the latter, for it’s tough AF, it’s painful at times, it’s scary…
Lord, I know.
But you’re not alone.
Nobody is every alone.
You need to know this right now.
When you choose to rise,
what is waiting for you,
will have tears streaming down your face in wonder.
First, you have to choose to go within for the healing.
You are more powerful,
than you will ever know my friend.
I see you and I bow down to your magnificence.
Wherever you find yourself today,
know that it’s perfect for your journey.
I just invite you to start walking the path with eyes wide open.
With deep love and appreciation for you,