When they tell you to be your real self…

People are simply delicious…

I love how they always presume to know what’s good for me.

What will make me happy.

What will make me successful.


I particularly delight in people telling me who I really am.

What I really want to say.

How I really want to say it.


Of course,

they’re actually saying jack shit about me,

and telling me everything about who THEY are.


I guess it comes from their expectation that,

just because I choose to be in the lime-light,

I should be different in public from private.


For a long time,

I was.

But probably not in the way you think.


Other than most who feel they have to pretend in public,

and be themselves at home,

like so many alpha females,

I was myself in public,

and a shadow of my true self at home.


Constantly told that I’m just too much to be around,

too loud,

too free,

too crass,

too outspoken,

too fucking happy!


I had to dull myself at home so as not to overshadow my then husband,

who quite frankly,

got a rotten deal the day he put a ring on my finger.


It’s not his fault.

Society does not prepare the traditional man to be with a wild woman.

And Sweetheart,

I’m about as wild and free and independent as they get.

I really do howl.

I laugh out loud wherever I find myself.

I say what I mean and mean what I say.

I’m the one dancing in the shopping isles because it’s fun!

Try and put me in another fucking box and I will strut away before you can blink an eye.

With no apology.

No explanation.


Relentless in my optimism,

I’m passionate AF about my empire,

my art,

my purpose,

my thrive.


Most call me obsessed.

Rolling their eyes when they see me working on a Sunday in the local coffee shop.

Asking if I ever take a break.

Not understanding that when you’re connected to the muse,

doing what has your soul on fire,

it IS the break,

from fitting in with the average existence of the masses.


I have no desire to compete,

as if

anyone could do me better than me and quite frankly,

I have no desire to do anyone else.

I have no desire to compare,

as if

comparison could ever lead to originality and quite frankly,

I never came to this life to imitate.

I have no desire to have a better half,

or be someone else’s better half,

as if

I’m not fucking whole and complete by myself and quite frankly,

I’m unavailable to fix anyone else.

Their lives,

their choices.


Personally I believe we’re moving into a time when people need to start minding themselves again.

As brilliant as our global connection via the web and social media is,

it has most floundering and in crises as they’re so busy looking at everyone and everything else,

even that which is more photoshop than reality,

leaving them thinking they’re not good enough and feeling like absolute SHIT about themselves.


Instead of constantly looking around at what everyone else is doing,

and how they’re doing it,

instead of constantly asking other people what they’re working on,

and how they’re planning on succeeding in it,

it’s time to fucking get real with ourselves.


All of this outward focus, is nothing more than a cowardly distraction from being their best version self.

Which requires them to figure out who the hell they are,

what makes them light up like a Christmas tree,

having the audacity to become unavailable for anything else,

and choosing to thrive.


And if that means being ‘unprofessional’ and saying FUCK,

as if this could be seen as anything BUT professional if aligned with your core values,

then so be it.

If it means changing your mind after decades of doing something in one way,

showing growth,



then HOORAY!


Look Hunny,

the thing is that people will always judge you through their lenses.

It actually has fuck-all to do with you.

Quite frankly,

the only limitation this puts on your happiness,

is the extent to which you’re buying into their shit and then adapting your behaviour to please their current state.


I’m the first one to raise my hand and say guilty as charged.


So fucking what?


Does it mean that I hang my head in shame for the fact that I too gave into peer pressure for most of my life?


Why would I dishonour my journey and take away from myself all the learning and insights I have received


I can choose going forward?


Does it mean that I’m going to continue living my life the exact way I have up to this point,

as not doing so,

changing my mind by evaluating the wisdom I have gained thus far,

will make me ‘unpredictable‘ in the eyes of others,

and they might not trust me?

Not a bloody chance!


In fact,

I’m going to tell you right now,

that if you choose to continue being in my space,

you should ALWAYS expect the unexpected.

And you get to choose your reaction to it.

You can choose to judge me as unstable and place me in the ‘crazy fucker’ category in your mind,

or you can choose to delight in the unfurling of my adventure and be inspired to question your own current beliefs and behaviours.


Where does your current focus lie?

Are you looking around at what everyone else is doing,

how they’re behaving,

what they’re saying,

so that you can advise them on how to be better at being themselves?

Or are you on a mission to make the rest of your life the best goddamned years?

By figuring out what you truly desire?

How you choose to define success for yourself?

How you choose to live in a way that feels expansive and joyous and free?


Where your focus goes,

energy flows.

And I will leave you with this last nugget:

When your energy is constantly flowing out,

it leaves you feeling drained, depleted, resentful, depressed and overwhelmed.

Pay attention to how you’re feeling and you’ll know where you’re focused.


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those brave enough to mind themselves.


Live with honour,



PS:  Are you ready to STOP Setting Goals, Working Your Sweet Arse Off, And Still Waking Void Of Satisfaction Once And For All?

Darling, it’s not YOU.

I know they say this is a man’s world. But as a woman, it’s time to realise that for your “hell yes!” life, you have to do it differently.

Like you, I’ve spent most of my life doing it like a man.

Without ever needing to prove myself or compete with the boys.

It’s simply the only way I’ve been taught.


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Your thrive is one a-ha moment away.