Why I will never treat my clients with kid-gloves – HTFU.

I’m always intrigued by the criticism I receive from those new to my space,

regarding my approach to my clients.

 

Messages expressing their concern for the emotions of those who choose to work with me.

Feeling that I need to maybe cut them some slack.

That a softer touch can do wonders for those who are feeling a little overwhelmed.

 

And of course they will always find evidence for their beliefs:

that one should not be so relentless in demanding more from those who have been struggling.

 

They witness the break-down of my clients,

and as they’re unable to cope with the discomfort this creates inside of them,

unable to sit in the agony of another whilst staying strong,

and because I refuse to let them interfere,

demand they not rescue,

they run the fuck away!

 

Good.

 

There is no place for continued weakness in my world.

 

Quite frankly,

I was born with eyes that only see the true potential in others.

I see their core and it is fucking mind-blowing!

I used to think everyone had this ability, and wondered why on earth we’re continuously doused in confidence-draining sympathy?

I couldn’t understand why everyone seemed to insist we say bullshit to people just to make them feel better.

What – we’re going to die from feeling emotional pain?

 

I received criticism from a very early age.

That I’m too out-spoken.

Too insensitive.

Too hard.

 

Shit, I recall my very first role-play in Social Work studies as part of my psych degree, where every single person the lecturer put in front of me, broke down in tears.

I was eventually pulled aside and told that maybe I should not enter the social work arena.

Never mind the fact that every student left thanking me for bringing them new insights and clarity.

Because I refused to let them just sit in the chaos their minds were creating.

 

Yeah, if you want to stay stuck,

if you want to continue regurgitating your boring story of how hard it is and how miserable you are and how everyone is against you,

you won’t last long in my space.

I’ve been there before and it dragged my arse down so far into a pit of despair that I was willing to kill myself.

If you want to go down that road, I’m not going to hold your hand and tell you it’s okay.

 

I didn’t turn my life around through therapy and happy pills.

I didn’t turn my life around because others told me to be gentle with myself.

I didn’t turn my life around by having others rescue me.

 

I turned it around one motherfucking punch in the face,

one kick in the stomach,

one bruise,

one drop of blood at a time.

 

I turned it around by strengthening my body until she could kick a boxing bag into the wall.

I turned it around by strengthening my mind until she could handle whatever life throws at me.

I turned it around by walking away from EVERYONE who choose to focus on my weakness and feed it with their concerns.

I turned it around by repeatedly putting myself in situations where physical death was a real possibility (okay I’m NOT saying you should do this too!  take responsibility) and then getting myself out of there one torturous step at a time.

I turned it around by surrounding myself with badass bastards who told me to pick up the pace or stay behind.

I turned it around by becoming a warrior.

 

And warriors don’t respond to sugary words and soft caresses.

 

We continue to rise in a world that says it’s okay to stay down by knowing our why.

We continue to move forward when everyone is telling us to slow down by staying focused on the target.

We continue to grow by viewing problems as exciting obstacles to get over, under, around, or through.

We continue to become stronger by walking the path with comrades in arms who refuse to rescue, who will taunt us, dare us, challenge us, sometimes lovingly insult us and our mothers.

We don’t take that shit personally.

We continue to thrive because we’re not afraid to fail until we succeed.

We continue to create as we are alphas – for us there is no competition.  We have no need to look around at what everyone else is doing.  We set the new standards.  We raise the bar.

 

Cupcake, I want you to know that you are capable of so much more than you think you are.

But you have to stop restraining yourself like this weak pup.

You have to start testing yourself.

You have to push to exhaustion and then,

when you think you can’t move another step,

you have to go to wherever the fuck you have to go to,

inside of you,

that dark place where pussies don’t dare tread,

you have to amplify the hurt until it turns into rage,

transmuting that pain into power.

And then you have to rise!

With conviction.

With determination.

Invinsible.

Unstoppable.

 

THIS IS WHO YOU WERE BORN TO BE!

 

It’s not going to happen in the lap of ass-kissers.

 

The truth is that you are capable of whatever you BELIEVE you are capable of.

And a belief is nothing more than a story that you’re telling yourself,

over and over,

finding evidence along the way,

until you can convince yourself that this is universal truth.

 

Winners are not attached to their beliefs.

They’re willing to continuously question all that they think they know as truth.

If it serves them,

if it makes them stronger,

if it has them reaching for more,

they continue to enforce that by creating more evidence.

If it doesn’t,

if it makes them feel frustrated,

defeated,

castrated,

they let that shit go and they start telling themselves a new story.

 

Easy as that.

 

Except if you’re staying with people who refuse to admit that they could be wrong,

because saving face is more important to them than success,

you will NEVER find the courage to change your life.

 

Why won’t I treat my clients with kid-gloves?

Because my clients are FUCKING POWERFUL and I hold the space for them to break down FASTER so that they can BREAK THROUGH their self-imposed glass ceilings.

And we all have them.

 

You’re not going to break that sheet of glass by timidly tapping on it.

Instead, I give you the hammer and tell you to swing that motherfucker with all the strength you can muster up.

Smashing it to smithereens.

 

So, here’s my invitation to you today.

Go look in the mirror and if you see soft wool covering your body, I’m NOT your cup of espresso.

If you see the steely eyes of an alpha staring back at you,

and you’re ready to go next level,

defeating the enemy in your head that’s telling you you can’t,

if you’re craving some sweat,

pushing beyond the point where your screams rip out,

if you’re ready to awaken the warrior with sheer will and determination,

AND you’re ready to receive ZERO sympathy,

let’s play.

 

I’m hungry for more sweet ass-kicking.

 

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those brave enough to rise.

 

Live with honour.

Anel.