Why people-pleasing belongs at the bottom of a long-drop.

It’s my experience that without an excellent sense of humour,
you’re pretty screwed in this thing called life.

People say the most random shit
and you have a choice of whether you’re going to be triggered or intrigued.
You’re bound to fail,
well I mean only if you’re actually one of the few with some skin in the game,
and you have a choice of whether you’re going to give up or step up.

All the time,
you get to choose if you’re going to be a miserable hornet or keep the ability to laugh at yourself.
Quite frankly,
I prefer laughing.
Crying simply doesn’t look or feel very good to me.
All that snot and my eyes swelling shut and the hiccups – ugh.
NOT that I DON’T EVER cry, before I’m accused of not being human again.
ROTFLMAO – Whatever the fuck…

Alpha, here’s what I want you to OWN today:


At the end of the day it’s just life for heaven’s sakes.
All that pressure you’re continuously putting on yourself to get it right according to everyone else when they’re not even getting it right for themselves,
for what?
To look in the mirror with that down-turned mouth set in marble?
Acid resentment eating you up on the inside?
Going through your day,
interpreting everything that everyone is saying through your screen of bitterness and then wondering why you think everyone else is an asshole?

Sweeten up Sugar.

I lived enough misery to last me twenty lifetimes at least!
All it got me was more to feel depressed about.
All of my adventures tainted with the energy of self-punishment.
All of my relationships tainted with fear.
All of my achievements tainted with a need to prove myself as I didn’t feel enough or worthy.

All the time,
I kissed sweet arse in a desperate attempt for others to like me or to make them happy as I was told they’re experience of me is my responsibility.
I dressed up so that I could be told I’m beautiful.
Then I dressed down so that the accusations of being a slut would stop.
I spoke in soft words so that I could be told I’m a nice person.
Then I stopped speaking so that the accusations of being an insensitive bitch would stop.

Until I finally understood that there’s no winning as long as you’re living for anyone other than yourself.
NOBODY has the same idea of what a good woman looks like.
NOBODY has the same definition of what a good woman sounds like.


So whilst you’re running around like a headless chicken
trying so desperately to please everyone
all you’re really doing is being a traitor to yourself.


I’m done with people telling me how I’m supposed to live to be a good person.
Done with people telling me how I’m supposed to speak to be a lady.
Done with people telling me who I’m supposed to work with to be a good coach.
Done with people telling me what I should be thinking to be an Alpha.
Done with people telling me how I should show up online to be relatable.

As far as I’m concerned,
those who are taking the time to study me from afar SO THAT they can advise me on how to do it better,
on how I should be different,
without me paying them for that input,
should invest their time on themselves instead.

I understand that for majority it comes from a really good place,
and I receive that in appreciation of their concern for me,
but honestly,
this is MY life and I will live it how I bloody well find joy in it!
I’ve also come to understand that it’s not that I’m not doing it right,
I’m simply not doing it right for them.

Alphas don’t stick their noses where it doesn’t belong – they’re constantly focused on their own lives and how they can do better, be better, thrive better.
Alphas don’t give unsolicited advise – they understand that in order for someone to receive they have to ask with a genuine desire for change and growth first.
Alphas don’t criticise and attack online – this childish behaviour is simply not tolerated. You have an issue with someone, pick up the phone and have a powerful conversation with the intent of resolving said issue.
Alphas don’t humiliate others in public so they can feel better about themselves – what’s this shit about anyway??? It blows my mind and I simply don’t understand the point.
Alphas stopped living in a way so that others will like them – we understand that it has nothing to do with us as sadly most people can’t even stand themselves, how on earth will they ever like us? Instead, we focus on being the person WE like and respect and those who are able to appreciate us as is, get to share some fun adventures with us.

And then people wonder why I choose to play with Alphas…

live with honour and integrity.
Make the choices that feel aligned and good.
And for the love of all that is chocolate,
keep your sense of humour.

For nothing is more beautiful than the sound of your laughter.

Death is inevitable,
thriving is a choice which defies people-pleasing bullshit.

Live with honour and a lottle badassery,


Anel is the Instigator of a Thrive Evolution for Alpha Females.

Her work is aimed at empowering women to trust themselves and their intuition, reclaiming their authentic voices, and creating a life they’re madly in love with.

Through enhanced self-love, self-worth and self-confidence they know the satisfaction and pride of a woman who lives unapologetically aligned with her purpose.

Those ready to step up and receive support on their journey are invited to connect through a potential partnership consultation.

✔︎ For more pockets for introspection follow her here ☛ Anel Bester

✔︎ To learn more about her thrive evolution visit here ☛  https://anelbester.com

✔︎ For video content subscribe here ☛  Home of the Alpha Females