Will you evolve or will you perish under this pressure?

Jesus,
don’t let them see.

The slight tremble in my hand.
The nervous glint in my eyes.
The stiffness in my smile.

Lord,
don’t let them see.

The lines of exhaustion
slowly deepening every morning
as it takes more foundation
to hide the dark circles of worry
blackening as the depth of night.

Dear god,
don’t let them hear.

The tremble in my voice.
The nervous break in my laughter.
The slight slur at the end of the day.

Dear goddesses of all life,
don’t let them find out.

How tired I am.
How anxious I am.
How terrified I feel.

The new level of low I’m discovering every day.
The new level of loneliness I did not even know was possible.

Dear gods
don’t let them…

I know Darling.

The silent prayers of thousands of high achieving women
wake me in the middle of the night.

As I feel the desperation
of a ‘breed’ who pride themselves
for outworking everyone
out achieving most
making the impossible possible
being the baddest of the badasses in the room

and as the world is shifting on it’s axis
and humanity is tumbling down
they are not only attempting to keep all the same balls in the air as before
but taking on even more
as those around them look up at them to lead
and they simply can’t get themselves
to let anyone down.

In the process
more and more high achievers
both men and women
are crumbling inside
and this will ultimately bring down
not only themselves
but all those who have become dependent on them
and we will lose the fight for love.

I know the pressure of not feeling good enough,
the insanity of never feeling enough.
I know the push to do MORE, to give MORE, to bleed MORE,
as MORE gets applauded in our culture,
regardless of the cost.

I know the desperation of ‘what it will say about you
if you stop competing
if you stop performing at that crazy pace
if you stop hustling from dusk to dawn
if you stop

and the silence will become deafening
for but a fraction of time
before the cacophony of voices
explode in your head
as long suppressed stories
will no longer be silenced
and you will have to find every ounce of strength available to you
to stand your ground
and face your tormentors
thereby finally acknowledging what’s going on beneath the surface
the tone that’s set in your core
which up until now,
if you’re honest with yourself,
has been
fear.

Fear of being seen as anything less than spectacular
and ‘worthy of their praise’.
Fear of being seen as anything less than hardcore
and ‘worthy of their admiration’.
Fear of being seen
as human.

Perfectly imperfect.
With a range of emotions you’ve never dared explore.
With a desire for deep love and connection you’ve long denied.

And above all
a longing
to
just
be.

I know.

I’ve had to walk away from the path
into the wilderness
where undergrowth is filled with poison thorns.
I’ve had to allow my skin to be sliced
and as the acid burn threatened to make me lose control
the flow of blood was a sweet reminder that I’m still alive
and this kept me going
even when
I could no longer see a sign of humanity
I could no longer hear any other voices
and the isolation
was excruciating.

It was only when I was no longer connected to any one other
that I could finally break down
allowing my walls to be smashed into dust
allowing my strings to be frayed and ripped
finally free from the desire to be accepted by others
finally free from the desire to be approved of by others
finally free
to be
me.

I had to take the time
to remember who I truly am.
I had to take the time
to explore the beauty of my intricacies.
I had to take the time
to appreciate who I am
for no other purpose
than the fact that I still choose
Life.

As I rose from the floor
and continued to move onwards
I came upon a mountain top
and found
EVERYTHING
that matters.

I found
LOVE.

The frequency of true love
is a vibration of deep and unconditional
acceptance, appreciation and respect
for ourselves
and in the process
we find that which is spectacular
in every other life
which we have the absolute privilege
of engaging with on our journey
whether human or otherwise.

THIS
is what awaits you Darling
if only
you could find the courage
to be vulnerable
and slow down
letting go of the pace that keeps your focus so preoccupied on the goals instead of your heart desires
letting go of the pain you put your body through in an attempt to deny the pain in your soul
letting go of the lone wolf persona which is nothing more than an unwillingness to be vulnerable as you don’t trust yourself and therefor you don’t trust others.

It’s available to everyone
willing to release our social conditioning
designed by the Cult of Mediocrity
which propogates codependency
instead of interdependency.

I know your fear,
I know your shame,
I know
because I’ve lived in their grips for most of my life
and they still live inside of me
as I have no need to make any of my human emotions wrong,
they serve ME.

I also know
that human doings
will lead to the demise of
human beings.

It’s time to let go of your personality Darling
and to
Rise Alpha Females.

Death is inevitable,
thrive is a choice if you’re willing to slow down.

Live with honour,
Anel.

PS: You are not alone.

These are unprecedented times, which is why I’ve created more ways in which to support high achieving women such as you. To find the container right for you, message me anel@anelbester.com or book a call at https://anelbester.as.me/application