You’ll never achieve your goals unless you get real with yourself.

Just to be clear,

I’m not talking about little bitch goals.

I’m talking about the goals that has you sweat bullets just thinking about them.

 

*******

 

I was prepared for her and she knew it.

“This is going to feel like a smack-down”.

She took a deep breath.

“I’m ready…”

 

Half an hour later she had complete clarity on

where she was holding back

why she was not playing full out

how she was self-sabotaging

what she actually wanted

and the aligned action to take to move her forward.

 

That’s the power of coaching.

 

My clients don’t work with me so that I can hold their hands

or tell them how fabulous they are whilst pissing away their potential

or excuse their laziness due to the moon or whatever planet is currently in whatever orbit

or hand out tissues for their crocodile tears.

 

They work with me because, in my space,

there’s zero shame or embarrassment.

This is where they get to look in the mirror,

get very fucking real with themselves,

investigate the effect of their current actions,

understanding the driving emotions behind those actions,

quickly identify which are driven by fear,

uncovering the stories that’s speaking into the self-persevering nature of the ego

and then

they get to choose.

Do they want to continue screwing around

or are they going to shift themselves into success energy and take aligned action?

 

Always,

it’s their choice.

If they want to fail,

I let them fail proudly.

If they want to succeed,

I hold them to that as well.

 

In my world,

your word is your honour.

If you say you’re going to do it,

I EXPECT you to do it.

No excuses.

If you say you want it,

I EXPECT you to show me.

No lip service.

 

The number one reason I see people holding back in life

is they care about all the wrong people.

They don’t want to fail because that will mean others will shame them,

or pity them.

They don’t want to admit that they’re scared because apparently that shows weakness.

They don’t want to get it wrong because that will be embarrassing.

 

THIS my sweet friend,

is the programming of the average.

 

What makes high achievers different?

We don’t give a fuck about what others think.

The only person who matters,

the only person to impress,

the only person you have ANYTHING to prove to,

is YOURSELF.

 

End of story.

 

I learned a long time ago that if I wanted to get anywhere in life,

I had to learn to fail BIG

and learn from it.

I had to learn how to fall SPECTACULARLY

and laugh about it.

I had to learn to get myself into positions where I literally piss myself in fear

and then courageously move forward anyway.

I had to learn to keep my head in my own game,

shut out the world,

because the world will always have a shit ton to say about you.

 

I’m just going to point out as well,

that those who criticise and hate publicly

are normally losing in their own lives!

Successful people RESPECT the efforts of others

which means

if they have constructive criticism to give

they do so privately.

They know what it’s like to be ON the field,

everyone else,

simply spectating.

Players respect players,

even when we’re competing against each other.

It’s all part of the game.

 

The unsolicited ‘feedback’ that everyone else is giving you

has NOTHING to do with you

and EVERYTHING to do with them.

Please read that again so it can sink in.

 

People will see in others what they see in themselves.

The person calling me stupid,

feels stupid in himself.

The person calling me a failure,

only sees failure in his own life.

I don’t reply because I have empathy for where they are in their journey,

and regardless of what I say,

it will simply amplify their pain even whilst they’re not consciously aware of it.

 

The truth is, others don’t have access to your internal world,

so all they can do is use you as a mirror for themselves.

 

So the next time someone hates on you,

you get to empathise for the fact they’re hating on themselves.

And when they compliment you,

you get to enjoy the energy of someone who respects themselves.

 

Now,

let’s get back to the point of today.

I want you to have a real honest conversation with yourself.

Are you currently holding back because you fear you will feel like an idiot in front of others if you fail?

Are you not having a total adventure because you fear others criticising you?

Are you not going for your dreams because you fear it will be embarrassing if you don’t get it right the first time around?

Are you not showing up powerfully as yourself because you fear random strangers will hate on you online and it will be humiliating?

 

It’s okay.

You’re human.

You have an ego that’s going to play with all of those scenarios.

 

Just answer me this Darling:

When your time is up,

will you be happy with your decision to take your dreams to your grave with you

because you gave a damn about what others thought,

now knowing that it has nothing to do with you?

 

Or will you look back on your life with pride and satisfaction?

Will you know that you gave it your all,

failing and falling along the way,

getting back up,

dusting off your arse,

wiping off the sweat,

and then laugh at your humanness before taking the next step?

 

There’s no right or wrong decision.

My intention is simply to give the opportunity to make a CONSCIOUS decision

with a different perspective than before.

 

Time to drop the shame and embarrassment bullshit.

Get a sense of humour about yourself.

And LIVE.

 

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those willing to get real with themselves.

 

Live with honour,

Anel

 

PS:  Ready to play?

I’m currently interviewing new potential clients.

Yes, I’m picky in who I partner with because as you can see, I don’t really have the patience for baby steps.

I work with those ready to commit to their personal success,

and charge like a bull in a china shop.

These are the players who are fun for me to work with.

Decisive.

Committed.

Zero excuses.

 

90 Days, you and me, in the game.

If you know this is your next aligned action, drop me a mail anel@anelbester.com