You are the creator of your relationships!

Depending on where you find yourself on your journey, this piece is going to feel anything from a punch in the nose to me french-kissing your soul…
Wherever you find yourself on this scale,
is perfect.

I’m calling for a revolution of free-thinking Alphas who understand that for them to live a life of thrive
they have to

What I mean by this is you have to start bringing your focus to the ONLY person who has any true control of your experience:

we can absolutely go into the stories of conditioning and how we are culturised to focus on everyone else
and how they really are being an asshole
and how they have a mental condition
and how they’re being self-destructive
and blah blah blah
but quite frankly
I don’t have the patience for that today
so I’m calling

Fuck a carousel,
I wish I had someone give it to me straight years ago.
Clearly I wasn’t ready to receive it,
clearly I had to go on my normal round-about way to get to where I am,
and what an adventure it’s been.

Filled with victimhood and blame and feeling like I was at the mercy of everyone else most days.
broken down,
pushed around,
and all the time
I kept thinking
‘If only they would change’
not understanding that they were simply reacting to the vibration I was excuding like a sewer.

Let me explain it differently:

You might have heard the story of the two wolves – how we each have a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of us,
and how we show up,
is dependent on which wolf we feed.

Well, the same applies in our experience of everyone else.
Each man has within him a king and a drunk and everything in-between,
each woman has within her a queen and a slave-girl and everything in-between,
and the side that shows up in your experience
is the one YOU focus on
and the one you allow yourself to receive!

Put THAT bit of self-responsibility in your pipe and smoke it!

I know
it feels like waxing your anus.

This is also the most empowering piece of information you will ever receive Darling.

For every relationship in your life
from your relationship with your colleagues
your staff
your clients
your children
your romantic partner
and everyone else,
YOU get to decide the EXPERIENCE you have
through what you focus on
and who you choose to be.

Have you ever noticed how a new relationship feels all fabulous and uplifting and fresh and wonderful,
and then,
slowly but surely
you start noticing parts in the other that’s not so pleasing to you?
Funny thing,
once you start spotting these,
the more they become.
Like gremlins multiplying in a rainstorm,
and the person ‘changes’ right in front of your eyes.

It’s not that those parts were absent in the beginning lover.
You simply didn’t FOCUS on them.
What you focus on grows
and it grows
because YOUR vibration around them starts to change
YOUR behaviour starts to change
and they’re simply responding to it.

The true alphas of this world,
the ones who are intollerant of disrespectful behaviour,
the ones who have epic relationships,
are the ones who are continuously working on being
They’re the ones who start each day with connecting to
who they desire to be
how they desire to show up
what they desire to experience
and they commit to staying connected to this vision as much as possible
even whilst storms rage around them.

Before you put on your Jesus-cloak
thinking you have to save everyone around you,
that’s not the point of this.

Once you connect to accepting, appreciating, loving and respecting YOURSELF
you accept, appreciate, love and respect the free will of every other person and their journey.

You are NOT responsible to change them.
You are NOT responsible to decide what is good for them.
You are NOT responsible to tolerate their disrespectful choices.
You are NOT responsible for how they feel.
You are NOT responsible for how they experience you.
Oh, and you don’t owe them anything either.


time for some practical action,
because just reading this and NOT implementing to create a new EXPERIENCE in your body, in your mind, in your life,
is a waste of your time.

Grab a pen and paper,
bring ONE person to mind that you care about yet having a challenging time with
and write 100 things that you appreciate about the person, what you like about the person, what you admire in the person.

Anel are you fucking crazy????

Yes, Sunshine.
You said you wanted to shift this shit.
Show me your level of commitment or just acknowledge to yourself that you want to remain stuck in this pattern.
Taking it to this level also ensures that you stop wasting your precious time on things that don’t REALLY matter to you!

Now do this every day for a week and let me know how your experience transforms.
And it WILL transform.
As your focus changes,
your thoughts change,
your energy changes,
so does your experience.
It’s universal law.

Want another one?

Let’s go to your romantic partnership (you can change romantic for any other form of partnership, the process is exaclty the same).

Step One – you have to get crystal clear on how you desire to experience your relationship.

Take your current partner out of the equation.
How do you desire to experience your relationship in terms of the type of conversations, how you desire to feel in his presence, how you desire to feel when he’s not around, what would fun look like in your relationship – be specific, what would epic sex look like in your relationship, what are your shared values, how do you spend Sunday mornings?
All of it.

Step Two – describe the king of a man in this vision.

I’m saying king because quite honestly Darling, if you’re settling for anything LESS than the king inside of a man, you’re settling for less than what is available to you which is how the cult of mediocrity is bred. The reason we have so many little toy-soldiers running around is because women are settling for it. Stop that shit!

Step Three – describe the queen of a woman who would be by this king’s side.

Describe her posture, her values, her conversations, her thoughts, her beliefs, how she eats, how she moves, how she makes love to her man, how she releases to her man in moments of ecstacy, the empire of impact she’s building.


Every day.
You will slide,
you will have to practice and readjust, reconnect, daily,
until one morning you wake up and you’re simply her.

The man next to you WILL be a king.
Whether that man is the same one you had,
or a new one.

Either way,
humanity wins
for they have received another queen raising the vibration for everyone.

Death might be inevitalbe,
thrive comes from taking full responsibility of your MIND.

Live with honour,


Anel is the Instigator of a Thrive Evolution for Alpha Females.

Her work is aimed at empowering women to trust themselves and their intuition, reclaiming their authentic voices, and creating a life they’re madly in love with.

Through enhanced self-love, self-worth and self-confidence they know the satisfaction and pride of a woman who lives unapologetically aligned with her purpose.

Those ready to step up and receive support on their journey are invited to connect through a potential partnership consultation.

✔︎ For more pockets for introspection follow her here ☛ Anel Bester

✔︎ To learn more about her thrive evolution visit here ☛

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